My Little Girl

Last night, I had one of those awesome parenting moments, the one where I feel nothing but pure love and joy for my child.  Don't get me wrong, I have this all the time for my children.  There is NOTHING I wouldn't do for them, but sometimes, life gets in the way and you forget.  Forget that they are little for such a short time, forget that their love is pure, with no hate or vindictiveness behind their anger.

Is she not one of the cutest things you have ever seen?!?!

Let me be frank here. I love her! I love her to pieces, but she is also the one that tries my patience the most.  From day one, she was very high maintenance.  I was spoiled by my son, he was so laid back and still is.  She would not sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time and even now still doesn't sleep through the night every night.

She is not my favorite (and every mom has a favorite, whether they admit it or not)  She gives me the most grief about everything.  Getting dressed, doing her hair, the temper tantrums over not getting her way.  Every thing is a struggle with her.  She doesn't do this with dad, just me.

Anyway, last night was one of those nights.  It was 9:00pm, she had been in bed for 2 hours and she still wasn't settled.  Finally, I went and got her out of bed to cuddle on the couch.  She was so happy!  I decided to take her to my bed to snuggle for a few more minutes.  I figured if it was dark and quiet and my breathing was relaxed, she would follow.  So we crawl into bed and she is wide awake now, all toothy smiles to be n bed with me.  We lay down with our arms around each other and she just starts kissing my face. Randomly, with love.  Suddenly, I remembered that this little baby (and she is STILL a baby at 3) won't want to do this forever.  I was mad at myself for not cuddling with her earlier in the night. Why didn't I?  Because I wanted to watch some shows on Netflix and relax.  It seems pretty trivial now.

Pinterest is one of my favorite sites and there are so many cute ideas to record your children growing up.  I have done none of them for my children.  I have a baby book for Hayden, but not for Abby.  I tell myself that my kids are too old to start some of these things, but are they really?

In the fall, I thought it would be nice if I started a journal for each kid and give it to them at their wedding.  I would only update it once a year on their birthday.  I would tell them what they liked and dreamed about.  Did I do this?  Of course not.  I sort of started a letter to Abby and it went a little something like this:

To My Wonderful Daughter,

Abigail Marjorie Lynne

Recorded here are my thoughts on you, the value you add to our family and how much you are loved!

I will record for you, each year on your birthday all of the special things that happened and my thoughts of you growing from a baby to a woman.

Introduction

I wish I had thought to do this for you before now.  It’s the year of your 3^rd birthday and while I may not have documented my memories from your first couple years, they are vivid and strong for me. I hope to pass this on to you once you are ready to start your own family, because it’s not until then that you can truly appreciate all that you mean to me!

You are the second child we had the pleasure to welcome into our home.  Your arrival completed our family.  We officially are considered to have the “million dollar” family.

Ever since I was a little girl, the only thing I wanted to do was get married and have children.  I always dreamed of a little girl I could dress up in cute little clothes and play dolls with.  When that ultrasound picture showed you to be a little girl, I could not wait to start buying pink EVERYTHING!

As a baby, you were bright and alert!  It was love at first sight and it was that love that got me through the tough times.  You were not a sleeper and had to be entertained all the time.  For you, stimulation was key.  You sat up early and started to crawl around.  You took your first steps the day before your first birthday and after that, there was no stopping you.  You are a girl on a mission and there is no telling you no!

Friday, November 30, 2012

At 3, you love to play with your babies.  You are a wonderful and caring mother to them.  You rub their backs when they cry and give them tender “shh’s”  You can be seen pushing your double stroller full of babies, wearing your pretend high heels.

You can count to 10 and know all of your colours.  You are not much of an eater, living mostly on diary products, treats and crackers.  It drives me crazy but I have faith you will turn it around and at least try something else one day. You are daddy’s girl and constantly  at his side.   You request that he does everything for you and he does, because he loves you just as much as I do.

You are shy with strangers, unless in the grocery store, then you say hi to everyone and insist I do too.  If you don’t get your way, you scream, cry and lay on the floor pouting.  We have learned to just walk over you until you are ready to move on.  You love Hayden but pick on him endlessly.  You grab his clothes as he is about to get dressed.  Play with his toys just as he is about to.  You are one smart cookie and know what buttons to push to bug him.

But most of all….you are full of love!  You give hugs and kisses without asking.  Your birthday celebration this year, was filled with family.  Gramma and Grampa join us every year for cake and presents.  They love you just as much as we do!  You asked for a ‘nilla cake with ‘nilla frosting and sprinkles. 

That was as far as I got.  You know what?  I am going to finish it. It might start mid-way through their life, but it will be something for them to remember!

Welcome to Old Fart's Ville!

This year, I turn 35.  I am positive about this, I used the calculator to do the math.  Seriously!  I am so old that I need to do that now.  If someone was to stop me on the street and ask me how old I was, I would look like a fool as I tried desperately to remember and would probably respond with something like "I was born in '78" and let them do the math.

I have already decided that this is not my year and I am falling apart.  First off, I am having my gallbladder removed in a couple weeks and I have a tumor under my right ear that I am having removed sometime in the fall.

Those things alone would make someone feel ready for the retirement home, but that is not what made me feel like an old fart.  It was a conversation with my son last Wednesday.

We were in the car going to an appointment and he says:

"Hey Mom, can we go on a subway one day?"

"Yes, Hayden, I think that would be something we could do. Did you know that when mom lived in Toronto, I took the subway all the time"

"Yeah, 'cause in the old days they didn't have cars, only buses, subways and airplanes!"

"No, actually they DID have cars, I just didn't drive"

"Were you a grown up?"
 
"Yes! I was in college"

"Well, when you are a grown up, you are supposed to drive!"

"Well, I didn't have my licence to drive, so I took the bus and subway everywhere"

"Hmm, grown up's should drive"

At that point, I pretty much turned up the radio to silence the sounds of my tears as I sobbed into my old fart handkerchief.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go oil the wheels on my walker!