This year, I turn 35. I am positive about this, I used the calculator to do the math. Seriously! I am so old that I need to do that now. If someone was to stop me on the street and ask me how old I was, I would look like a fool as I tried desperately to remember and would probably respond with something like "I was born in '78" and let them do the math.
I have already decided that this is not my year and I am falling apart. First off, I am having my gallbladder removed in a couple weeks and I have a tumor under my right ear that I am having removed sometime in the fall.
Those things alone would make someone feel ready for the retirement home, but that is not what made me feel like an old fart. It was a conversation with my son last Wednesday.
We were in the car going to an appointment and he says:
"Hey Mom, can we go on a subway one day?"
"Yes, Hayden, I think that would be something we could do. Did you know that when mom lived in Toronto, I took the subway all the time"
"Yeah, 'cause in the old days they didn't have cars, only buses, subways and airplanes!"
"No, actually they DID have cars, I just didn't drive"
"Were you a grown up?"
"Yes! I was in college"
"Well, when you are a grown up, you are supposed to drive!"
"Well, I didn't have my licence to drive, so I took the bus and subway everywhere"
"Hmm, grown up's should drive"
At that point, I pretty much turned up the radio to silence the sounds of my tears as I sobbed into my old fart handkerchief.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go oil the wheels on my walker!