Prey for wisdom in mothering your child
I think every parent preys for the wisdom to know what to do with their children. From the moment they let you leave the hospital with this tiny little thing that is TOTALLY dependent on you for survival. "Good Lord, what do I do now!?!" The second time around was a little easier, I mean, I SORT OF knew what to expect, however, no two kids are exactly the same. By that it means, THEY ARE COMPLETE OPPOSITES!!
Wisdom for me now that my kids are older is trying to figure out a balance between protecting them, yet allowing them the independence to grow. Abby wants to be very independent, but it's limited. You can get her clothes to wear, but she wants to put them on. I need the "wisdom" to allow her to do this.
For Hayden, I wish there was a clear answer as to how much independence to allow him. Am I doing something that other parents would berate me for? For example, there have been a couple times that I allowed him to stay home by himself while I ran to the daycare to grab Abby. Now, before you judge...I can see the daycare FROM MY HOUSE! The rule is he must stay on the couch and watch TV. I close the curtains and make sure the oven is not on. He's alone for 10 minutes TOPS and to him, he feels so grown up. Another thing I have allowed him to do once so far this year is walk to Grampa's by himself. I can watch him walk all the way to the school and then Grampa meets him at the corner, so he is probably out of sight for about 100 steps. I think this is important to his growth and development. He needs to know the rules to follow and that it's expected he obey him. But it's hard! I question myself if I am doing the right thing a lot! I think I am. I don't want him to be one of those "Bubble Wrapped Kids" that are scared of their own shadows.
Do Not Criticize your child today.
Wow! This was a tough one. It was just one of those days that I couldn't help but criticize the kids. They were fighting and hitting and yelling and biting. I don't think I was criticizing in a mean way, but in a corrective way. We don't hit, its not OK to talk to a grown up like that, etc. I would NEVER EVER EVER tell my kids that something they made or said was terrible or worthless. That's not OK to me, but it IS my job to parent them and send them in the right direction and THAT does require me to criticize their behaviour from time to time.
Remember that being a mother is a gift.
This is one of those things you forget in the moment. You forget that their are couples out there struggling to have children and they would love to have even your worst day dealing with your kids! I remember the frustration over trying to get pregnant with Hayden. I had hoped it would happen right away, but it took about 9 months of trying before we saw that positive result. While trying, I felt I was surrounded only by people who were pregnant. All I saw on the streets were teen mothers or other people I judged to be unfit to be a parent. Here I was, a married woman that was financially stable and the last piece of the puzzle was not falling into place. I shared my frustration with my Aunt, who knew the struggle to get pregnant all too well.
I won't ever forget what she told me...she said part of the reason it's so frustrating is because it is the one aspect of our lives that we have NO control over. That's true, you can choose when you get married, what colour your hair is, even HOW you give birth, but you can't MAKE your body get pregnant if it doesn't want to.
I feel for those poor women (couples) who struggle to make babies. I feel for those poor women (couples) who never have the privilege of knowing the pure love you have for your children. I consider myself blessed everyday for having 2 happy, healthy children. But the saying, "you can't see the forest for the trees" is so true in parenthood I think. You can get so wrapped up in the moment, you forget just how truly blessed you are to be a mom!